15 Things I Have Been Asked Repeatedly...Since Arriving in Spain

Sorry for posting so often. I didn't think I would make this one, actually. It didn't occur to me that I would have a list of the same (ALWAYS THE SAME) questions I have been asked after I arrived in Spain, too. So, before I forget, here they are:

1) Have you been to New York? Europe sees America through the eyes of MTV, small town life, and Nueva York. They love it there. All of my friends have been, or want to go, or plan on (without doubt) living there when they are older. When I say that yes, I have in fact been to New York, they continue to ask me for how long, what did I see, what would I recommend. I swear they know the landmarks better than I do. NY isn't even our Nation's Capital, but that doesn't matter to Spain.

2) Do you watch Jersey Shore? At this question I have to resist hitting myself in the face. If you aren't familiar with it, Jersey Shore is a show on MTV that takes place on the shore of Jersey. A bunch of thirty-year-olds who are the bane of our society live together and talk about how much they party. Another big one is if life in the show Gossip Girl is anything like real life in the States. If you have ever watched the show Gossip Girl, you should be scared. I remember that I've read some sad statistic that MTV is broadcasted in more of the world than the national news. If all I knew about America was that we get pregnant at sixteen and cry if we don't get ridiculously expensive cars for our birthdays, I'd be a terrorist, too.

3) What, you're a Cheerleader! Are you in love with the Quarter Back? Can you do a flip? Were you Prom Queen? This is reality to them. No, we don't go to school to learn, we go for the football. Really, truly, all cheerleaders are beautiful and mean. I was Prom Queen (as a freshman) and the QB points to me while I'm on the top of the pyramid and then asks me to go steady with him. C'mon, America, get it right. Gosh.

4) Do you always eat and buy food on the streets? Jajaja, I've never actually been asked this one, but apparently this happens a lot to my American friends in Spain. I guess in movies Americans (usually played by Canadians) buy hamburgers from a street vender then refuse to sit down and eat like a civilized person.

5) Where are you from? "Los Estados Unidos." "While, obviously, but where in the States?" (I always get these mixed up. I'm actually really excited that people care enough to question me, but it takes a few tries for me to understand.) "Oh! Carolina del Norte." At this point they nod, like I have answered correctly. They like that I live somewhere where Spain has occupied. The only way I possibly could have answered better is to have said California or New York.

6) How long have you been here? Now I know that they're judging my Spanish. I think they get their answer from me confusing "how long WILL you be here" with the real question even after I finally say "one month."

7) How long will you be here? "A year." "Oh. No biggie. It's not that long." When I said one year in America, the person I was speaking with would grasp their heart and cross themselves. In Spain? A year? Meh.

8) Do you like Madrid? People really like asking me this in their broken English. I laugh and reply in Spanish to coax them into the other language, or, if I'm feeling generous, I'll grace them with an exaggerated Southern accent.

9) What kind of music do you like? This is important to them. I'm not sure why. Just answer "all kinds" then say yes to the bands they list so they think they have something in common with you.

These are things that I say often.

10) Where are we going? Donde Vamos? Eventually I learned to just go with it, my host family wasn't going to abduct me. "Hey, look! The Royal Palace!" "Yes, we're buying tickets." "...I knew that." I didn't. Buy, hey, the Royal Palace!

11) Where are we? "We're in a bank to pay the five dollars for your school." "...I knew that." I didn't. But, as I grew up a Girl Scout, I am always prepared with my purse to pay for my school and other random expenses. I think school is giving me a t-shirt.

12) What's your name? Quick, say your names as rapidly and slurred as you can! Okay: Garisidhwsa, Mercdhba, Johunodeuh, Quilsjs, Baniwetfo. It's okay. I wouldn't have remembered them, anyways.

13) What are we doing? This is reserved for school.

14) No, Gracias. No, Gracias. I would not like a fifth serving of pasta. No, Gracias, I do not want to smell your sandwich. No, Gracias. I don't care to decide if every boy in my grade is attractive or not.

15) Sí, Gracias. What else, really, can you say? Would you like a glass of wine with dinner?... ;)